Well, our first year of marriage is over, and I have to say that it was awesome! People kept telling us,”The first year is so hard” or “The first year is the hardest.” But we both agree that it honestly wasn’t so hard and if the first year is the hardest, then the rest of our lives is going to be so great!! I love Cody more than I did the day we got married, and it has been proven to us that we’ll grow in love with each other more every day. Honestly, lately I’ve often found myself looking at him and thinking, “I never knew I could love someone this much.”
The months leading up to the close of our first year of marriage and in to our second year were filled with business and lots of traveling. Cody was gone most of the summer ministering to students by playing at kids camps all over Texas. Thankfully, he was able to be home on the weekends with enough time for us to go on a date and for him to be able to lead worship for our church. Then, the week before our anniversary (the same week we were on a mission trip to Mexico), Justen, my brother-in-law, was diagnosed with Leukemia. Heartbreak. We left Mexico and were dropped of in San Antonio at the hospital where Justen was receiving chemo treatments. We stayed there for about half a week, including the day of our anniversary (which means no, we didn’t get to eat the top tear of our wedding cake). Cody did take me on a pretty great date, though:) We went downtown (San A) to Ripley’s Believe It or Not!, and to Hard Rock Cafe. It was awesome. I wasn’t back in Fort Worth for more than a couple hours before I had to leave for Florida to help with Kortney’s wedding. I was there for a week and a half before Cody came up the day before the wedding. Two days later we finally came home. After three weeks of last minute traveling, we were both so relieved to be home. Since Cody had been gone from work to do worship stuff, they had to technically “let him go” with the ability to rehire him when he was done. We knew that going in to it, but now he hasn’t had a job in more than two weeks (prayers!!). He actually finally got re-hired today and will start again tomorrow. But let me just say that I’m so thankful we learned how to regularly put money in savings early in our marriage, because I don’t know what we would be doing if we didn’t have savings. God also provided for us the opportunities Cody has had working with Myna Media doing web design stuff (which has actually lead to the possibility of a permanent position… we would love… But we will see).
All this to say, we’ve had a rough month or so. But even through the time gone, the heartache, and the traveling, every day I can’t help but think what a great husband I have, and every day I love him even more. This first year of marraige has been one big learning and growing experience. And I hope it never stops. I began learning and practicing what it means to be a good, Godly wife. And through Cody’s leadership I’ve seen what an amazing, Godly husband looks like. I’m so thankful for the knowledge and wisdom that God has given us through this first year of marriage. Even if we don’t get anything else, I hope we continue to receive wisdom in our marriage.
I know our marriage is so young, as we are also, but I want to share the wisdom and knowledge that I have with others to hopefully bless and allow others to gain this as well.
- Involve. Do things together. Play games, go on walks, cook, laugh, make music, etc. Just because you may not be in to crafts like your wife is, or videogames like your husband is, doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy those things with them. Participate in your spouse’s hobbies with them. Involve yourself in your spouse’s hobbies.
- Serve. When you entered into this marriage covenant, you are no longer responsible for just one person, you’re now responsible for two. You’re a team. A partnership. One. Your spouse should now be your priority. Your spouse should be first on your list. If you’re spouse is down, lift them up. Always say yes. Serve your spouse like you take care of yourself, remembering that they are now part of you.
- Communicate. Talk.to.each.other. I know this may seem like a pretty obvious answer, but its surprising how little some couples actually express their feelings to their spouse. It’s also surprising how horrible some couples talk to one another. Rude attitudes, doubt, bitterness, careless. Another obvious statement: talk to your spouse how you want to be talked to. Listen to what your spouse is saying and respond with love, patience, grace, and selflessness. If you have a problem with something your spouse did or said, tell them. Always be honest. Communicate your thoughts and feelings with your spouse, and make sure you know your spouse’s thoughts and feelings as well.
- Pray. Praying for one another has got to be the most important. I’ve definitely found that if we’ve been lazy about praying for each other, tension will rise or our communication will tend to be less effective. And personally, I tend to be more selfish when I’ve been lazy about praying for my husband. Not only is praying for your spouse incredibly important, but pray with your spouse as well. Share prayer requests, burdens to pray for, share things that you are thankful for, and praise God for those things together. Joining in each other in prayer really does help to tie your hearts together. Pray for each other, with each other.