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Throwback Thursday #16

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From my Tumblr in December of 2010.

Some thoughts on confession…

I think a lot of the time we think of confession as becoming pure or for just receiving forgiveness. Confessing sin isn’t just about coming clean, it’s also about discipleship. Of course people need to confess their sin so that the Lord will forgive (1 John 1:9) but the people we disciple need to know when we’ve made a mistake so they don’t repeat those acts themselves. If they see their mentor sin, and their mentor never confesses that the act was a sin, how is the one being discipled to know it was a sin? Then you have caused your brother or sister to stumble. It could also cause you to look like a hypocrite. If you tell the one you are discipling not to do an act similar to the one you did, he will call you a hypocrite and lose all respect for you – your witness will be tarnished. As Christians we need to be honest with ourselves and with each other. That is the only way iron can sharpen iron (Proverbs 27:17).

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Throwback Thursday #11

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From my Tumblr in March of 2012.

I’ve been thinking and praying on this question for a few weeks now. As a wife, my desire is to be a Biblical one, so that my husband can have confidence in me, and so that I can be an adequate partner to my husband. But how do I become that? What is it that makes a good wife?

I’ve gotten input from lots of women (single & married) and in that, have received many different answers and opinions on this subject. Here are some I came across:

  • Being a Proverbs 31 wife; having a clean home; having a stress-free, welcoming home
  • Honesty and faithfulness, love and forgiveness
  • Partnership
  • Respecting the husband as the leader of the family; staying considerate of the husbands needs
  • Praying for the husband
  • Making him sandwiches (of course that was my husband’s lovely input, lol)
  • Knowing how to delegate chores throughout the family
  • Cooperation and compromise; remembering that the wife’s way isn’t the only way; not sweating the small stuff, and sometimes even the big stuff
  • Not being too controlling or nagging; trust the husband and let him have the personality and interests that he pursues; respect each other

I also came across this blog The Striving Wife (be sure to read parts 2 & 3 as well). These three articles she has written on What Makes A Good Wife are awesome and spot on. These attributes of a good wife are ones to look up to and strive for.

I’m a big observer. At times I’m kind of spacey because I’m busy looking at things around me. I like to watch people, to see how they interact with other people, to different situations, etc. In my people-watching, I’ve come across different types of marriages but two (types of wives) in particular have made the biggest impression, making me wonder which I am more like, and which I should be. One is a nagging, controlling and as I’ve heard it said, micromanaging wife. And the other a loving, respectful, submissive wife.

The first wife has made us laugh on TV shows like Everybody Loves Raymond, and we’ve identified with her time and time again. But she is nagging and controlling and is the opposite of what a Biblical wife looks like. Proverbs gives it to us straight, “Better to live on a corner of the roof than to share a house with a quarrelsome wife” (Prov 21:9); “Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife” (Prov 21:19), and “A quarrelsome wife is like the dropping of a leaky roof in a rainstorm” (Prov 27:15). When her husband asks her to do something she does so (after arguing) with resentment and rolling her eyes, if done at all. She remembers all the things he doesn’t do for her, but forgets how hard he works for her. When hanging out with her friends she complains about her husband and makes fun of him. Her husband is stressed, frustrated, and comes home from a busy workday to a nagging wife that makes him feel like he’d rather live on a corner of their roof. This wife is the source of the “ball and chain” marriage jokes or the saying that marriage is a prison sentence.

But the second wife brings joy to her husband and reflects the love of Christ. The one I look up to the most, the one I see who has the most attributes of a good wife is my friend Heather. Watching her be a wife is inspiring and convicting. She is encouraging towards her husband and submissive. “Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value” (Prov 31:11), “She watches over the affairs of her household… Her children arise and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her” (Prov 31:27-28). She has patience towards her children and husband, and thinks the best of him. She is selfless in doing things for her husband and children. She notices and thanks him when he does things for her, and she knows how hard he works for her and their family. Once when I was telling Heather how alike her daughter and husband were, she said, “If Meirah turns out just like Dave, that would be great! Dave is awesome.” When talking with others about her husband, she lifts him up and talks positively of him. She is the product of a Biblical wife and worthy of honor.

So which one am I? I’m thinking a little of both… I know there are several things I need to work on. Patience and arguing come to mind. I’m big on lists, so a good to-do list is always handy to me. In reading commentaries, watching other women, and talking with them, in addition to the previous attributes I listed, I think these general attributes are ones that wives should have at the top of their to-do list:

  • Be attractive for your husband – Of course your husband probably already thinks you’re attractive, but seeing you make the effort to look nice for him is very encouraging. You wouldn’t want to see him in his boxers all day every day either, so getting dressed and looking good for your husband is nice too.
  • Have a clean living environment – No one wants to live in a cluttered household. Your husband’s office or workspace is probably cluttered (and if you have a job, yours probably is too), so it’s nice to come home to a clutter-free home!
  • Give your husband undivided attention each day – No distractions (computer, phone, TV, kids, etc.). This seems like a no-brainer, but unfortunately it is something that gets pushed aside with our busy schedules. Make time to sit and talk with each other.
  • Pick your battles, try not to complain to your husband – Don’t expect to have your way all the time. Cooperation, compromise, and patience are the source to this one. If there is something big, obviously communicate and share your concerns, but like The Striving Wife said, “minor complaints are often best kept unsaid.”
  • Encourage your husband – This is huge in the eyes of men. Husbands yearn for the admiration and approval of their wives. As often as you can, give him encouragement.
  • Respect your husband and submit to his authority – Biblically, your husband is the leader of your household, be respectful of that. You and your husband will have disagreements and it is important to communicate your thoughts, but to do so with respect. His decision in the end, though should be submitted to. Your submissiveness should be done respectfully and without complaining. Just like you, he isn’t perfect so if he makes the wrong decision, stay a partnership and don’t say, “I told you so!”
  • Pray for your husband – This is probably the most important thing you can do. Pray for his leadership, for his work, for his relationship with God, and for your marriage.

A woman I respect a lot sent me this message on being a good wife, I thought it was great and should be added to this post:

“It is my experience that it is important not to be too controlling… Trust the husband and let him have a personality and interests that he pursues. I know so many women who don’t like to “let” their husbands go play golf (or fish, or hunt, or play poker, or whatever their hobby is) because it takes away from their time together. But even though he is a husband, he is still a person, too and has interests. I believe that is why we hear so many joking about the “old ball and chain” or marriage is a “prison sentence”. Don’t let the husband feel that way, any more than you would want to feel that way. Now, I think it is appropriate for him to tell you or discuss with you when he is going to do something, particularly if it involves family finances or may interfere with another scheduled item – and the same goes for the wife. In other words, respect each other…”

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Throwback Thursday #5

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This Throwback Thursday post comes from my tumblr; I wrote it in 2011.

Freedom in Christ?

Being from the U.S., when I hear “freedom” I think of being able to say whatever I want, have whatever job I want, worship whatever/however I want, where whatever I want, eat whatever I want, marry whoever I want, etc. Because of this, for so long I’ve not quite understood what the New Testament meant when it said Christ sets us free.

  • For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery (Gal 5:1).
  • Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom (2Cor 3:17).
  • Yet because of false brothers secretly brought in-who slipped in to spy out our freedom that we have in Christ Jesus, so that they might bring us into slavery (Gal 2:4).
  • For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another (Gal 5:13).
  • Live as people who are free, not using your freedom as a cover-up for evil, but living as servants of God (1 Peter 2:16).
  • So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed (John 8:36).

I didn’t understand because yeah, we’re free from sin, but we still aren’t “free.” We can’t just do or say whatever we want. But as I was reading C.S. Lewis, The Discarded Image I started to realize that I have the wrong idea of freedom. During the Reformation, when people thought “freedom” they thought not about being slaves to a government or to a church, it wasn’t about saying whatever they wanted or wearing whatever they wanted. During these times, people were not necessarily commanded to worship the king or ruler, it was just that they needed to claim that they were their ultimate leader. It was the same in New Testament times. So when people were brought before the king and commanded to say, “Caesar is Lord” it wasn’t in a worshipful way, it was just saying that Caesar is the ultimate power. They are slaves to him.

I’m trying to figure out a way to say this, but I guess I was always thinking of it as freedom meaning we are free to  do things, but having freedom in Christ is more like not having to do things. Sin. Jesus has freed us from the bondage of sin. We no longer have to be slaves to sin!

  • For one who has died has been set free from sin (Romans 6:7).
  • …And having been set free from sin, have become slaves of righteousness (Romans 6:18).
  • For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death (Romans 8:2).
  • …that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God (Romans 8:12).
  • What then? Are we to sin because we are not under law but under grace? By no means! Do you not know that if you present yourselves to anyone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin, which leads to death, or of obedience, which leads to righteousness? But thanks be to God, that you who were once slaves of sin have become obedient from your heart to the standard of teaching to which you were committed, and having been set free from sin, have become slaves of righteousness. I am speaking in human terms, because of your natural limitations. For just as you once presented your members as slaves to impurity and to lawlessness leading to more lawlessness, so now present your members as slaves to righteousness leading to sanctification. For when you were slaves of sin, you were free in regard to righteousness. But what fruit were you getting at the time from things of which you are now ashamed? For the end of those things is death. But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the fruit you get leads to sanctification and its end, eternal life. For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 6:15-23)

It seems kind of stupid that I never fully understood until now. I mean, of course I always knew that we were no longer slaves to sin, I just didn’t know what this word free meant. I am so thankful to be free from sin and death.

Thank you, Jesus for taking my place.

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Throwback Thursday #4

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I wrote this post on Tumblr a little bit less than three years ago, on April 27, 2011. I am so thankful for the love of God and its eternity – even when I am not so loveable (which is pretty much always). Thank You, Jesus for your love that abounds. Thank you that it covers all my sin.

God’s love.

It’s really awesome how much God’s love can do in my life. So often it humbles me, yet so often it builds me up as well. I’m humbled by the greatness of it. I know I don’t deserve it and I feel so small compared to His greatness, and therefore I feel so small by the greatness of His love. I’m humbled by the love He has for the world; the world full of hate, malice, slander. A world that has forgotten it’s Creator, I’m humbled by His love for this world. Yet, His love builds me. When I’m feeling so low, like I’m nothing His love shows me that I am something. When I feel worthless, His love reminds me that God the Creator of the universe sent His son to DIE for me. He loves me that much! My head can’t wrap around that.

Just wanted to share my thoughts lately, and to get y’all thinking about His love:)

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Throwback Thursday #3

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This post is one I wrote on my Tumblr in 2011. I remember writing it; I  had been watching this beautiful sunset and thinking about how big and perfect God is. I am so thankful for the general revelation that God gives us to remind us and help us see Him!

I FEEL LIKE TALKING ABOUT YOU.

They say if you understand a complex thing well enough, you should be able to explain it in a simple way. Your love is so complex I can never understand it. How can I ever explain it? I am so happy to have found You, this Creator, this Father, this Almighty King. How much more You love me than Romeo does Juliet, than Jack does Rose, than Cory loves Topanga. You sit on Your throne above, watching over Your children, Your bride, Your world. I feel so small, when I think of You. For millions of years You’ve kept a whole universe in order; catching the stars on fire and shooting them across the sky, holding up, and pouring down rain, throwing meteors, circling the sun and moon around this earth, filled with sinners who are filled with hate. So that they will be able to watch a beautiful evening sky, filled with lights and colors. Pure. Your creation – so corrupt – in awe of Your creation – so pure. It is an incomprehensible thing done by an incomprehensible God.

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